Kids do speak without a filter – and reveal a lot about parents.
Her mom looked frazzled. Miss Carol came over to visit with us a moment. The mother told this story, “Yesterday my daughter nearly gave me a heart attack. We were in line at K-Mart right behind a very very large woman whose clothing was hugging every roll (If you know what I mean, like four-hundred-pounds!).
Suzie was standing quietly and just as we were about to move forward in line I saw her hand slowly reaching up to tug on the bottom her shirt. I didn’t know what she wanted to say to the woman. I tried to stop her from talking.
The woman was turned around and said, “Hi, Can I help you with something ?”
“I like your pink shirt,” followed up with, “Don’t you hate it when your underpants get up in your crack like that?”
The mother continued with her story, thanked God that was what she said. I had many other options in my head but she was being kind.”
The woman smiled at her and said, “Yes, I do hate it. Do you pull it out when you are in the store or do you wait to visit the bathroom or go home?”
By this point I was laughing out loud. The look of horror on this woman’s face. You could tell how upset she was about all of this. The mother probably classifies people as fat or thin which was her big worry.
“Miss Carol,” the mother continued, “Do you give lessons in preschool about what to say when they see someone who looks different than they do? I don’t want her to blurt out things, even if they are true. I didn’t know if I should have complimented her for saying that so I just kept quiet. I wanted to tell her that it was rude to tell a fat person they were fat. So, in the car I told her how nice it was that she didn’t tell the lady she was fat”
My daughter answered, “Why mom, she knows she is fat. I didn’t know if she knew her undies were in her crack. Her pants were in the crack, too but I didn’t remind her of that. I thought she was a nice lady.”
“Sometimes it is best not to talk to strangers, even if mommy is right with you. You were nice, thank you. Then I left it alone. I just don’t know how to handle the situation.
Miss Carol seemed speechless and obviously knew to keep quiet and the mother would keep talking. I was turned away at that point because I caught Miss Carol’s eye and that made me laugh more.
“If there are fat kids in your preschool can you teach my daughter how to talk to them without calling them fat?”
Miss Carol finally said, “I find humor in the story you just told me. We work on social skills all day, every day. I think you should be prepared for the time when your kids say embarrassing things in public. It is better not to give a lot of attention to it. Your child is learning the appropriate way to talk to people. It would be a great conversation to have at the dinner table with all of the family there. when your child is not being mean.
Children blurt lots of things out and a lot of them are very funny. We have to learn to hold our laughter while the child is there so we don’t encourage whatever behavior they have reported to us.
I said to the mom, “Don’t you hate it when your kids say or do things in public that are outrageous. My son is hilarious and I have to be careful not to encourage the wrong kind of silliness. Glad she didn’t say what you thought she was going to say.”
I laughed for awhile. Most of the “normal mom’s” I hung out with would recognize that it is the mother’s issue and would have laughed with me.
There is enough pressure on kids today – how do you wear your hair, what brand shoes are you wearing, do you have a cell phone? People have always judged others who appeared to have more money or less money than they do. It is a challenge for this generation to learn to hold judgement at the same time as they learn to use good judgement in decision making.
Obviously the woman driving the bright red BMW and dressed in designer clothes needed to take a look at what she said around the kids.
Good luck with the crazy things your kids say! And remember there is no such thing as privacy at school because kids tell it all!